“Diary of a father and daughter:
So, today I got ‘The Call.’
…
‘Dad, it’s weird, but think I pooped my pants!’ So, I rush to school, bring her a change of undies, put the old ones in a bag, and rush back to my conference call. I threw the bag in the kitchen trash.
A few hours later, she calls and I had to put a very important work meeting I’m hosting on hold, which I never do. She says to me, ‘Dad, it happened again.’
At this point, I’m confused and very annoyed because I’m super busy…
I yell, ‘Just wipe your butt better, then stuff toilet paper in the back of your pants. I’ll have to call you back in an hour!’ and I hang up.
A few minutes later it hits me…
OMG!!!
I rush to the trash to dig out and inspect the undies from earlier and scream, ‘That’s blood not poop!!!’
I interrupt my project meeting and explain I’m very sorry but I have to go! I’m racing to the school while calling them, telling the nurse to, ‘Go find my child!’
I’m speeding and having a panic attack because my child called me for help and I just ‘left her to die on the battlefield.’
I run in the office and she’s standing there, very calm looking at me. She says, ‘Dad…I officially started my first …’ and I stopped her. I said, ‘I already know, Avi. It hit me a few minutes after I hung up on you.’
The stress of raising a daughter.
Later on she says to me, ‘Don’t I get something like when a tooth falls out?’
So, I snuck off to the store.
When she got out of the shower, I told her ‘The Period Fairy’ brought her something.”
