It’s not about being selfish.
People who choose to be childfree are often the subject of negative stereotypes. They are sometimes called “selfish” because they do not want to dedicate their lives to raising someone else. They may also be described as “cold” or too career-oriented.
People who push them to reconsider (their in-laws, for example) often use scare tactics to get them to reproduce, such as: “Who will take care of you when you get old?”, “Your partner will leave you for someone who wants children,” or “When it’s too late, you’re going to regret your decision.”
To put it simply, childfree people are often portrayed in a negative light. However, a recent study found that an amazingly positive trait lies at the root of choosing to be childfree: openness to experience.
Childfree people have a zest for life
The big takeaway from the study is that the underlying personality trait among childfree people is not selfishness. Instead, they tend to have a strong curiosity about the world, which makes them more likely to travel, explore new ideas, and pursue short-term romantic relationships. Many childfree people want to live a carefree life of adventure and growth. Setting that aside for more traditional pursuits, such as raising children, may feel like too great a sacrifice.
The American Psychological Association defines openness to experience as “a dimension of personality characterized by imagination, creativity, intellectual curiosity, and a preference for novelty and variety.”
Jeffrey Davis, a writer at Psychology Today, calls it “the drive to explore novel aspects of human experience and the willingness to consider perspectives different than your own.”
To study how openness to experience affects reproduction, Aleksandra Milić, a graduate student at the University of Pavia, and Janko Međedović, a professor at the Institute of Criminological and Sociological Research in Belgrade, surveyed 1,024 people online, with an average age of 32.3 years. The survey asked whether participants had any children and, if not, at what age they intended to have them. It also asked how many sexual partners they had and how long their longest romantic relationship had lasted.
People who are open to experience have fewer children
“The main takeaway from our findings is that, in our sample, people higher in Openness to Experience tended to have fewer children,” Milić told PsyPost. “Higher Openness was associated with later entry into parenthood, shorter romantic relationships, and less positive motivation to have children, all of which were linked to fewer children.”
The decision to have children can be difficult, especially for women, because the biological window is relatively short and few people want to enter their 50s with regrets. In addition, there is a significant amount of societal pressure and judgment placed on women who choose not to have children.
The good news is that, for those who feel guilty or pressured into having children because they do not want to be seen as selfish, research suggests that selfishness is not the reason at all. Instead, it may simply be that the world is so big, beautiful, and full of opportunities that it would be a waste of a lifetime not to experience as much of it as possible.
