Why does my cat seem so distant and selfish?
But why do cats have a reputation for being so selfish? Why are they so distant from their owners? “Cats aren’t social animals; they don’t need a group to survive. Unlike dogs, they see humans as a source of emotional security, but not at all as a refuge,” explains Claude Béata. In other words, “They don’t feel the need to seek comfort from their owners when they have a problem. Whereas dogs rush to us when something’s wrong!”
This detail helps us better understand how cats love us, but also how we perceive them. More independent than dogs, cats are also more independent in their emotional relationships. That’s why they seem distant to us! Under these circumstances, it’s not surprising that they don’t jump for joy and wag their tail when they see their owner, nor that they decide when and where cuddles take place. Always ready for a scratch, a dog follows its owner everywhere, while a feline is only available at certain times. Petting is fine, but only when the cat wants it. It sets the pace! However, not all cats establish the same relationship with their owners.
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Each one has their own story and personality, and some are more affectionate than others. In reality, they exhibit the full spectrum of emotions. The most ungrateful cats develop no bond with their owners at all. “Generally, these are cats that weren’t socialized with humans before the age of two months or that had a bad experience with a human,” explains Claude Béata. With them, regardless of the owner, only food and shelter interest them!
Conversely, some cats are so devoted that they have difficulty living without us. These possessive, even somewhat smitten cats only have eyes for their owners, showering them with affection. “This situation is pathological when the cat shows signs of suffering in the absence of its owner (loss of appetite, inappropriate elimination, excessive licking to the point of pulling out the fur on its belly or paws…). But this can be treated very well with the help of a veterinary behaviorist,” the expert explains.
Between these two extremes, most cats happily establish a normal relationship with their owners. They are attached and show it every day in their own way… From little headbutts to affectionate glances, they all discreetly express their affection to those who are willing to pay attention. “But unlike dogs, cats have little to no ability to reconcile after a fight,” cautions Claude Béata. “This means that the bond between them and their owners is quite fragile. It’s unlikely they’ll come back if they’re hurt!” So, be careful to take good care of your cat. The love of this sensitive feline is a precious gift that must be earned.
Signs that your cat loves you:
It nibbles and purrs while you’ve been petting it for a while because its affection is overwhelming.
It butts you with its head to mark you with its scent.
It kneads your belly as if it were nursing.
It comes to lie on or against you because it’s seeking your company.
It purrs with its mouth closed as a sign of trust.
It plays and lies on its back beside you because it feels completely safe with you.
It looks at you and blinks as a sign of absolute relaxation.
Source:
Oregon State University study examining attachments between cats and humans using the 2019 Secure Base Test.
Your questions, our answers :
What is a cat’s favorite smell?
Cats particularly enjoy: mint, olive, and nutmeg. They associate these scents with playtime, and they put them in a good mood! Vanilla and lavender have a very calming effect that your cat is sensitive to.
What are the symptoms of depression in cats?
The symptoms of depression in cats are varied. Lack of energy, decreased appetite, insomnia, urine marking, lethargy, excessive scratching or licking that can lead to skin problems of varying severity, lack of grooming, aggression, digestive issues… If you have any doubts, consult your veterinarian.
Can a cat forget its owner?
Generally, a cat can remember a familiar person after several months, or even years, of absence. This ability is stronger in cats that have formed a close bond with their owner, as a cat’s memory is influenced by the quality of its interactions with its owner.
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